On Blogging and Other Such Things

Blogging used to be rather easy. A year (or so) ago, I lived in Scotland, and every day brought with it some kind of adventure. Before that, I was in graduate school and college and went on all sorts of random adventures and road trips. I took courses and thought deep thoughts and was exposed to all kinds of new and interesting ideas that I, of course, wanted to come back to my computer and write about at the end of the day. In college, you are surrounded by people and are constantly (whether you like it or not) thrust into various social encounters that, for better or worse, provide good fodder for writing, blogging, and the like. Blogging, as I have said, used to be rather easy. It was even easy when I was unemployed, as blogging provided a forum for complaining about my lack of employment (a topic most worthy of complaint, to be sure).

Writing has become somewhat more difficult of late, I have noticed. Taking a look at my blog, I note that I have not updated with any regularity since returning from Scotland last August -

brief sidebar: It has now been over a year since Kellie and I returned from Scotland.  Over a year.  That is simply ridiculous.  In a lot of ways, it feels like it was just the other day that we lived over there.  The last year has been kind of a blur, between new employment and, well, unemployment.  Crazy.

- and, moreover, I have not updated at all, not a word, since May.  An entire summer has passed and I have not had anything interesting to say.  Well, at least nothing blogworthy.  And it's not just that it's so easy to throw a 140 word update up on Facebook or Twitter.  No, the problem, it seems to me, is that when you spend 40 hours of your week at work, 50 hours or so of your week asleep, and the rest of your hours just trying to relax and unwind from all that working and sleeping, what is there really to talk about?  There are not really that many exciting adventures to be had in my cubicle.  And, even if there were, even if there were crazy things happening to me all the time at the office, work is the kind of thing that I'm just not comfortable blogging about.  This is a strange thing for me; after all, I've kept a blog and made public(ish) all sorts of random details of my life since, oh, 2003.  I have talked about classes, friends, enemies, politics, religion, and everything in between.  But, somehow, work is different.  Part of it, of course, is the fear, even with privacy settings, that a rant about work might find its way to one's current and/or future employers.  That is certainly something that is always int he front of my mind as I write things on the Internets, especially as one who has been bitten on the ass in the past by his, shall we say, brutal honesty.  With stakes as high as one's job, it's hard to get enthusiastic about blogging one's job.

Nevertheless, therein lies the quandary: I spend almost all of my time at work, and thus, it is my main source of interesting (well, occasionally) stories.  And, to be sure, there are occasionally stories I would like to share, lest they be forgotten and left behind in the endless day-to-day slog that is the working world.  So, what are the alternative?  Write nothing, and keep these stories to myself, thereby ending the written narrative that I have kept on this blog for Lo, these many long(ish) years?  Go offline into some form of physical journal?  Go anonymous?  I do not know. 

An Entirely Decent Day

I usually find that Tuesday is my least favorite day of the week.  I know Monday is generally the most reviled of weekdays, but I do not agree with this notion.  True, on Monday it's back to the grind, but at least you are well-rested and coming into work straight off of a weekend of relaxation.  Tuesday, not so much.  It's not yet halfway through the week, the end is not yet in sight, etc.  Tuesdays are, generally speaking, the worst.

Nevertheless, I declare this to be an entirely decent Tuesday (EDT).  My reasoning is as follows:

(1) The new Josh Ritter album, So Runs the World Away, was released.  Yes, I've been streaming it over NPR for the last week, but this is exciting nonetheless.  As a result,

(2) I took an entirely too-long-for-my-lunch-hour bike ride down to Waterloo Records to procure said album, and thereby enjoyed the loveliness of a spring afternoon in Austin, Texas.

(3) Upon finishing and posting this blog entry, I intend to walk across the street and redeem by free birthday coffee coupon at Kick Butt Coffee.

(4) After a week's hiatus, there is a new LOST tonight, and as I am easily excited, this is enough to make the day a good one.

So take heart, my friends, a persevere.  For though your Tuesday might not be an entirely decent Tuesday, rest assured that time marches onward...

Well, that was pointless!

So, funny story.  Or is it an angry story?  You decide:

About eight years ago, while I was at Austin College, my driver's license was about to expire.  Rather than search the town of Sherman for the driver's license office, I decided, why not just renew this online?  True, this meant keeping my out of date photo (from when I was seventeen), but it was such a convenience that I could not pass it up.

Fast forward eight years.  It is the future, the year 2010.  My driver's license is again about to expire.  I want to renew online, but by now, my photo is eleven years out of date.  Since I look a bit different than when I was 17, the license is an increasingly poor photo ID.  Gritting my teeth, I decide to venture to the driver's license office to get a new photo taken.

I use my lunch break to do this.  I wait in line for nearly 45 minutes along with everyone else in Austin who came to DPS on their lunch break.  I grimace in agony as person after person in the line goes up to the desk with a stupid, lengthy complaint or request (e.g., "I need an expedited CDL," or, "My driver's license was suspended.").  Finally, it is my turn.  I am quick and efficient.  I fill out my forms, have my check made out, and am ready to go.  At this point, I know I can still make it back to work in time.  It is going to be a victory!  Then the time comes for my new photo.  I check my hair, practice my smile, and step up to the white line.

"Take off your glasses," the guy says.

"What?"

"Take your glasses off."

"But, I always wear my glasses.  Not just to drive."

"We don't take pictures with glasses."

So I take them off.  And we do the picture.  And it comes out looking weird.  Much worse, in fact, than my seventeen year-old version.  In fact, it looks much less like me than the old one.  Which is because I AM NEVER WITHOUT MY GLASSES.  I FRAKKING WEAR GLASSES!  True, if you came by my house at, say, 5 in the morning, and I was asleep, there is a good chance that, at that point, I would be without my glasses.  At any other point, however, I have them on.  Because, you know, I NEED THEM TO SEE. 

So, let me ask you this, Texas DPS: what is the point of a photo identification that, by its very nature, FAILS TO IDENTIFY THE WAY I LOOK?!?!?

What I Haved Learned about Medicaid

Before coming to work at the Agency, I had very little knowledge of Medicaid.  I knew it existed, I knew vaguely what it did, but I had very little conception of its innerworkings.  In the last five months, however, I have learned more than I ever thought I would know about this particular government entitlement.  Specifically, I have delved deeply into the incredibly complex process that goes into keeping this behemoth running, from the policy side.

Say, for instance, that a state or federal governmental body enacts some kind of statutory change (for instance, the recent Health Care Reform bill).  Such an act would require the following responses on the part of our Agency.  First, new statutory laws mean that the Agency has to revise its administrative laws.  Hence, a lengthy rulemaking process follows even the most trivial of legislative acts.  Second, Medicaid is jointly operating by state and federal governments; the contract that outlines this joint operation is known as the State Plan.  Thus, any legislative act that requires rule changes will probably also require amendments to the State Plan, which requires going through the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS).  Finally, some Medicaid programs are not part of Title XIX (of the Social Security Act), but are "waiver" programs that permit the State to provide services that fall outside what is outlined in the SSA.  Thus, many legislative changes require changes to our waiver documents, which also require interaction with CMS. 

Thus, it's kind of funny to me to see democratic senators and representatives celebrating the victory of HCR as if that is the end of the story.  It's a big victory, to be sure, but there is a long road of rulemaking, state plan amending, and waiver amending ahead before any of those new laws are reflected in the day-to-day policy of states like Texas.  It's a machine so complex that I sometimes can't even believe it.

The Upside of Being an Administrative Professional

Yesterday was Administrative Professionals' Day (or Secretary's Day, as it was once called).  Unfortunately, in Texas, it was also San Jacinto Day, so observance of the former was somewhat nonexistent at the Agency.  Today, however, was a different story.  My colleagues and I were provided with a veritable smorgasbord of a breakfast spread that included breakfast tacos, kolaches, bagels, fruit, and other various breakfast related sundries.  Not to mention a new coffee mug (with chickens on it, no less).

Now, my current position as an administrative assistant for the state is, perhaps, not as glamorous as I might like.  Be that as it may, it's hard to be too bummed out about a free breakfast.  That is all.

Earth Day

I was riding into work this morning, as I do every morning, when I noticed that the neighborhood was strangely busy.  On a normal day, I encounter a handful of people during my morning ride down Shoal Creek - a jogger here, a dog-walker there, and perhaps another cyclist or two.  Generally speaking, however, it is pretty quiet.  This morning, however, I noticed a great number of children and their parents out walking - to school, I assume.  How nice, I thought.  I bet their teachers encouraged them to walk to school on account of Earth Day and such.  A good idea, to be sure.  But this got me thinking about a couple of related matters.  First, why aren't there more kids out there walking to school everyday?  I mean, this is a nice neighborhood with a neighborhood elementary school; when I was that age, I walked or rode my bike to school every single day.  It's a little sad that it takes a special occasion to get kids out and about instead of hitching a ride in a car.

The other thing that occurred to me, in a slightly less cynical moment, is that if each of us could commit to only one day a week of walking, riding a bike, or using public transportation to get to work, instead of driving, how great would that be?  Yes, I understand that some commutes are longer than others and that it can be quite an inconvenience, and yes, especially in Texas, the cities themselves are set up for driving cars rather than public transit or bike commuting, but still, it's at least possible, right?  Assuming we all picked different days of the week, imagine how much less traffic there would be!  And, imagine how great it would be for so many people to get a little bit more exercise! 

Now, I realize this is one of those naive and silly Earth Day kind of ideas... but, still, it's nice to think of a city in which there is 1/5 less traffic, 1/5 less automobile-related pollution, and a lot of other folks out there commuting by foot, bike, or bus and enjoying the springtime!

The Ghosts of New Year's Eves Past

It seems appropriate to offer one's introspective ponderings upon the final day of the year.  The year 2009, for me, began in Scotland, but is ending back home in Austin, TX.  2009 was an exciting year, to be sure, but was not by any means an easy year, at least for me.  Kellie and I traveled the world, visiting Paris and Florence and taking in the culture of Edinburgh, but it was also a year of tremendous set backs and frustrations.  This year required me, for the first time in a long time, to completely reevaluate my career path and to find a suitable Plan B when my PhD apps fell through.  Moving back to the States in August was, of course, a joyful homecoming after a year spent abroad in Scotland, but moving back and attempting to find work during the deepest economic recession of my lifetime took some of the wind out of my sails.  Still other annoyances, such as dealing with the British government and such, have slowly but surely chipped away at my optimism and positive attitude, to the point that here, at the end of 2009, I am quite ready for this year to be over.  And that's precisely the good thing about New Year's: the previous year, the good and the bad, can be set aside.  The previous chapter can be closed and a new one begun.  That's truly a freeing feeling on this, the final day of such a long and interesting year.

On another note, I find it curious this morning to consider all the other strange and interesting places I have found myself on this day.  10 years ago, for instance, in 1999, I was in Hyde Park, in London, when three nines turned into three zeroes and the world didn't come crashing down around us.  The next day, I marched through the streets of London, trombone in hand, playing "The Yellow Rose of Texas" as Londoners sang along.  Quite surreal.  In 2004, I hosted my first New Year's Eve get together at my college house in Sherman (since razed to the ground), dubbed "Isengard," and rang in the new year with friends.  Two years ago, in 2007, New Year's Eve was the night before my long, strange trip to Indonesia, where I met monkeys and spent a night, all alone, at a stranger's house in the middle of the Balinese jungle.  Then, of course, last year Kellie and I attended the 2008 Hogmany festivities on the streets of Edinburgh.  Princes Street was packed to the gills with revelers, who joined together at midnight to sing "Auld Lang Syne," in something less than perfect unison.

Perhaps the moral of the story is that even if one finds oneself at the end of a less than banner year, there is comfort in the fact that one never knows where one will end up next.  New adventures always lie on the horizon, so long as one remains open to those adventures.  And as the year 2009 fades into a distant memory, I know all those sources of frustration will fade, as well, until I am left with only a fond reminiscence of things past as I trudge, ever forward, into 2010, and thankfully, can finally cease the annoying habit of prefacing the year number with "two-thousand-and."  Seriously.  That got old in about two-thousand-and-two.  Welcome, twenty-ten, welcome.

Concession Speech

I give up, 2009.  You win.  I don't know what you were trying to prove, but for whatever it's worth I concede.

Out of Exile

Wow, I haven't written in over a month.  Definitely my longest blog-gap in recent memory, but to be fair, I have had absolutely nothing to say.  Aside from getting readjusted to life in Austin, my last three months have actually been rather dull.  Most days have consisted of riding 10 or so miles on the bike, looking for jobs online, and watching hour after unbearable hour of daytime television.  Such is unemployment, I suppose.

It's really quite a depressing state, this unemployment.  There's a combination of factors that really serve to get you down.  It's not just the constant rejection (or worse, non-response) from various potential employers.  Rather, it's the void of having nothing on your calendar, nowhere to be during the day and nothing really to plan for or even plan around.  It's maddening.  The experience has given me infinitely more empathy for those who are in an even worse position than us in this economic morass.

In any case, the three-month exile that is unemployment is now at an end.  Kellie will be starting work in two week and I will be starting just after we get back from Thanksgiving.  This will be an interesting transition, I expect.  On the one hand, I am incredibly excited that I will have something to do, a way to use my talents and contribute to the projects of an office.  On the other, this will of course be my first full time job, which is no doubt a change from full time school.  Moreover, because of the nature of my program in Edinburgh, I haven't actually had a daytime schedule since early March of this year - it has actually been eight months since I have had any kind of schedule at all.  So, things will be very different.  But, in a good way, I think.  I suspect that it will be much easier to make full use of my free time when it becomes a more scarce commodity.

My Theme Song

My theme song of late has been "Waiting for My Real Life to Begin" by Colin Hay:


Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again

And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Just let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, oh so very soon
It's just that times are lean

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

On a clear day I can see, see for a long way
On a clear day I can see, see for a long way.